Burning the candle at both ends.

One of my biggest weaknesses in life is lack of sleep. I have always hated going to bed. I love staying up late but having an 8 to 5 job you really cant be up late without waking up in a coma everyday. I have been doing this sleep starvation thing for years. I know my physical body suffers most. It all started when the boys started growing up.

When the boys were small we would put them to bed early around 8pm and Marian and I would have the evening to relax watch TV etc. As the boys got older their bed time got pushed back further and further. Our free time got pushed back further and further too. I still liked my time so I just stayed up later. Of course that meant I was tired all the time; then came the addiction to caffeine. Had to do something everyday or I would never accomplish anything. Being lethargic was not an option and unfortunately a good nights sleep was not something I was willing to give myself either.

I have lived most of my adult life exhausted. No really. It all seemed to work reasonably well when I was younger... well not really. Not only was I always tired but pretty much always irritable too. Being tired made me quick tempered. The wife and kids always got the brunt in of all my fatigue.

Present day. I think I have been thoroughly exhausted for a month now. The week before the vacation was stressful getting ready and trying to relax. The vacation; up late and up early daily. I did sleep in the last two weeks since I have been home but I have again reverted back to staying up to midnight and getting up early. Today, my body has just had enough; time to take care of myself or I am sure I will be sick. I have to laugh; what is the point. I haven't been to bed before 11pm in weeks. Tonight is the night I will turn in earlier. Will read the bible early so I can just crash at the appropriate time. Night all.