That which does not kill us makes us stronger. - Friedrich Nietzsche

Sometimes I question whether I mean that or not... That which does not kill us makes us stronger. What the heck ever I feel sometimes... that which is making me stronger may not be killing me but it sure creates pain. Can we really change without pain? If pain does not present itself do we resist change? In some situations, we are able to hear the truth or someones life experience and say I get it and do it... then there are the other areas where pain must be present in order for us to fully surrender. I really wish that was not so... but the voice of experience says it must be.

Surrender is the act of letting go of our own lives so that we can experience the life God wants for us. When we are not surrendered, when are heels are firmly dug in THAT is when it kills us... our will that is. A willful surrender does produce strength... strength of character. Oh I so get when we exercise our self will that we do die a slow painful death. God wants all of us.... body, soul, mind, spirit. When we are his he can pour himself into us AND we experience life to the fullest.....

Feeling restless...

I wish I understood restlessness.... I am sure it is God trying to tell me something, but sometimes I am so restless that I can't sit still to listen to His still small voice. Maybe I am just afraid of the answer. Maybe I just keep myself wound tight in my human thinking that I can't make that connection. Maybe I rev up the unwanted restless feeling by dancing around the real issue. I know one thing being restless serves its purpose... to force us inside ourselves.

Oh yes I know more psycho babble, but when we can be honest and ask ourselves the tough question of WHY, then we are primed for growth. In my life, I would feel restless, get frustrated, distract myself from the truth and do what I could to will away the "restless" feeling. Without the WHY being addressed and answered, the issue could never be resolved. OUCH you mean I was sourse of my own misery? In most cases yes... I really perfected the art of misery and then laughed about it... hoping that laughing would soften the blow of perpetual unhappiness.

Growth hurts... at times depended on the fight we put up. I now embrace that restless feeling... no that was a lie. I just know when it comes, it is time to ask WHY....